Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A short short story


 This is a fun writing exercise from Jenny at Off On My Tangent.  We're given a writing prompt to be used in a short short story (100 words in addition to the prompt). If you'd like to join in, the link is here.

Here's mine.  (Prompt is in bold).

She climbed into her car and slammed the door, ears pounding and head damp with sweat that trickled down her back.  Her suitcase was heavier than she expected and her arms ached from dragging it down the stairs, the bumpity-bump on each step taunting her with betrayal.

Within minutes she was driving down the highway, heading for the bank.  Constantly checking the rear view mirror, she pulled up to the ATM and grabbed her wallet from her purse as she rolled down the car window.  She held the shiny silver card in her hand and said a silent prayer. Everything depended upon this single card. 

11 comments:

Becky said...

Hey! That's great! I want more.

Nonna Beach said...

Great Job ! I love a good story packed full of vivid descriptions and a character in a difficult situation...and a cliffhanger !

Kat said...

This is really well written. You packed a lot into a very short story. I could feel her anxiety. Great job! Kat

Joanne said...

Love this. I hope you'll expand it and tell us more about her running away ...

Rizzi said...

HI KAREN,
BRAVO! BRAVO!
I LOVE IT, I WANT MORE TOO, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS IN HER HEAVY SUITCASE, AND WHY SHE IS RUNNING....
UNCLE DICK WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU. TAKE CARE, LOVE YA, AUNT RIZ

Jackie said...

Now you have to write more...because I want to find out what happens next. Great Job!

Jackie

Mereknits said...

What happens next??????

Dick Masterson said...

Sounds a little bit like the movie Psycho, you know, remember when Janet Leigh was driving in the rain running away with the stolen money and then stops at the Bates Motel.
I like the story so far and it looks like a page turner.
I received a call from a short story publisher and they want to publish one of my story sometime in May.Here's hoping.

Uncle Dick

cj Schlottman said...

Your images are so vivid and concrete! I could feel her fear and fatigue and hear that suitcase thumping down the stairs. This is good writing!

Namaste..........cj

Jenny said...

Go girl! Run! Quick! Get out of there! Hurry!

Wait! Oh, sorry Miss Karen, the 'Wait!' was for you!

I need more of the story here. Abusive husband? Poltergeists? Mother-in-law moving in?

This was great.

I really enjoyed the tenion you packed into this little gem of a story.

Bill said...

The suspense is killing me!