Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dex Man

One of the advantages of having my 20-year-old son living with us again, is that I have my very own Dex guy. You know, the guy on the t.v. ad that is a living phone book, sits cross-legged in the kitchen cabinet, and blurts out information on demand. Well, instead of a phone book, my Dex guy is an encyclopedia. There's a slight flaw in his software, though, because oftentimes he'll just blurt out facts at random.

The other day he came into the room and was several sentences into his spiel, when something caught my ear. "Wait a minute. Rewind," I said, twirling my finger in the air. "What did you just say?"

Pleased to have my full attention, he said, "You know how you think that as you get older time goes faster? Well, it's true. It does."

He went on to explain in some kind of quantum physics-trigonometry-algebraical fashion that time as we know it -- in seconds, minutes, hours -- doesn't exist. That the actual passing of "time" isn't measured like we think. Our measurement is calibrated by seconds and minutes, for practical purposes. But our brain's interpretation is altogether different. . . . .Oh heck, I obviously can't explain it. But the important thing is, I'm not going crazy.

There was a time in my life, when time flowed through the hourglass in a streamlined, orderly fashion. That little space in the hour glass was so small that the grains of sand fell one or a few at a time, slipping past, even getting caught for extended periods while I waited for events such as Christmas or summer vacation when I was a child, or the arrival of one of my babies when I was a young adult.

I don't know when the space began to widen, and the sand started to flow more freely. The baby boy started school, the little girl was riding a bike, the young boy is driving a car. At times the granules seem to race each other and pour through as though liquid. It seems like a few weeks ago that we put the Christmas decorations away and before you know it it will be time to take them out again. At the end of the day, I don't know where the hours go, as homework assignments, soccer practice, doctor appointments all fall through the hour glass at once, and still there are things left to be done. The little boy who couldn't wait to grow up, is now grown and out the door. And back again:)

Life rarely gives you second chances, to have moments back. Having my son living with us again has been a challenge in some ways (for him and us both), but there are parts of it that I savor. For one, I love having the whole family around the dinner table again each night. The kids are a bit older, the conversation is more adult at some moments and then joking and laughing and being silly the next. There seems to be a new energy to sitting down at the table, new things to discuss, and I have a renewed interest in preparing new recipes.

Because I know it won't last long. Before we know it, someone else will be leaving the nest. That ever-elusive Time -- real or not -- will have slipped by and we'll be looking back, wondering where it went.

14 comments:

Judy said...

I KNEW it!

I clearly remember writing the date of September something in the upper right hand corner of a lined sheet of notebook paper and almost dropping dead from the sheer horror of how looooong it would be before school let out in June.

Now it is a different September, decades later, and next June seems almost so close that I can reach out and touch it.

RIZZI said...

AS WE GROW OLDER, "YES" WE WANT MORE TIME FOR OURSELVES, BUT WHEN YOUR CHILDREN ALL LEAVE THE NEST IT DOES GET LONELY, AND THEN YOU WORRY ABOUT THEM LIVING OUT THERE IN THIS GREAT BIG WORLD WITHOUT YOU ON THEIR OWN. BUT THEN THE GRANDCHILDREN START COMING, AND WE FEEL JUST WONDERFUL, BUT VERY TIRED. I'M LUCKY LIVING WITH JACKIE, I AM NEVER LONELY, I HAVE MY GRANDCHILDREN HERE EVERYDAY (GOD LOVE THEM).LIFE IS GOOD. OH, BY THE WAY CHRISTMAS IS 84 DAYS AWAY.:) LOVE, AUNT RIZ

Becky said...

Karen this is such a great post. You say what we all think ... only you say it better than we could. Well done and so true. And I love the way you introduced your topic with your Dex Man. Ha! I have a couple of those!!

sthornburg said...

Kudos to you, Karen, for having sit-down, family dinners. There really are just a few years for those conversations and the laughter to take place -- and you've been wise enough to provide the framework for many, lasting memories...

Joyce said...

Hi, Karen,
Your Dex man sounds so familiar; our three sons all turned out to be Dex men! It makes life fun that two of them bluff quite a bit.

I find it to be true, this time passing more quickly thing. I enjoyed your beautiful writing on the subject. :)

Country Dreaming said...

Hi Karen--
Time does have a way of passing by quickly when you are an adult.
When we were kids we didn't have all the worries and responsibilities we have now, we just worried about the next meal and who to play with today.
Oh.. to be younger again--NOT!

Melinda

Joanne said...

A very sweet post, so poignant. My two are still home, commuting to college, and I am thankful for every day they are here.

Kat said...

Karen you're a really good writer. I almost feel embarrassed you read my simple writing of nothing really today. Anyway that is all so true about family and kids growing up so fast and not getting any time back. I'm so happy that you realize that and are able to enjoy sitting at the dinner table each night with your family and realizing that it will all change soon. It makes me miss my kids at home, I have to admit I so love the life that God has blessed me right now, since i had my son at 18, daughter at 20, it's my time now, but you can't help but miss that sweetness of the kids growing up. It's such a simple sweet time it seems compared to today. Have a wonderful eve and hope you're all gathered around for another wonderful family dinner.

Bee Jay said...

Thanks for calling by my page Karen and for your sweet comments. I appreciate that. I tend to get a little 'verbal diarrhoea' at times and feel I might be boring the readers but I just write whats in my mind and heart at the time I guess. Sounds great having your big boy home again despite the drawbacks at times. I'm sure the plusses outweigh the minuses!
Blessings!

Rosezilla said...

Very poignant. Our oldest just got married and moved to another state. But our youngest moved back in with us. (My sister says this generation is the baby boomerangs!) Life is always so full!I remember when summer lasted forever! Raising kids seemed to take forever, but then all of a sudden it was over! Someone said that the days go slowly but the years go quickly, and they were right!

diana said...

oh, how i can relate to everything you wrote here.

even though it would be trying times, i too would welcome my child back - but knowing that his/her time would be limited, i'd try to enjoy the moments together.

the whole time thing is interesting. it's obvious as we grow older that time isn't what it used to be.

have a great weekend.

Creations from my heart said...

Thanks for the sweet comments about my blog. Glad you found my blog. Looking foward to talking with you in the future. Blessings...Sherry

violetlady said...

Karen -- what a beautiful and well written post. So true about time - I thought it was strange that it is passing more quickly and now I sort of know why.

Jientje said...

That was such a beautiful post. And so true, I'm constantly wondering where time has gone to. Each day when I wake up and look forward to a whole day ahead of me, and in the wink of an eye, it's done. And before I know it the week is too. And a month or a year. My life will be too short. But I'm glad it's just my brains. And just like you, I'm GLAD I'm not going crazy!